What Happens To A Dream That Is Realized ...

Howdy Folks,

I am in Montreal now on the return leg to Orono, Ontario - pondering the subject question - was it what I expected - was it worth it - what's next?

I think dreams realized properly, turn into lifetime memories - benchmarks if you will - that allow you to measure a life's worth or indeed your impact on someone else's.

I think a parent's job (or indeed the job of any more senior family member to a younger family member) is to build memories - positive ones based on tradition and exception - exception being that special trip or vacation that was so out there as to be different from the 'norm' - and people who know me know how much I hate the norm.

In travelling to Vancouver to meet up with my nephew, and then bringing him back to Saint John; it was my attempt to make the big exception - to step outside the norm - to create the big memory - to show that this great country of ours is not as large and as vast as you may think - but something that you can grasp and understand, geographically, in 3 or 4 days.

My nephew will inherit our generation's legacy very soon - sooner than I wish to think. It is important that he and others of his age understand how really small this country is, how really small this world really is and how important it is that we understand that our actions or inactions here have a world consequence.

Travel in Canada is essential to understanding what makes Canada, Canada - ergo, travel throughout the world is necessary to understand what makes the world tick. We can no longer afford to sit back and impose our own morals and predjudices on the world.

My nephew and I learned a lot from this trip - a lot about family history and traditions but more importantly, we learned a lot more about each other.

I hope he will remember this trip for the rest of his life - I know I will.

More importantly, when he is a man, married, with children, I hope he'll be able to say, 'to really understand something or someone you have to meet them on the road they travel - and the road goes on forever ....'

This adventure is over - but the ADVENTURE continues ..... watch for the next one folks, it is coming sooner than you think ....

I Like My Moose In A Bottle PLease ...

Howdy Folks,

Well – history (or infamy) has been made - a 4 day run coast to coast (or kowst to kowst) – North Bay to Saint John in 14 hours, 13 minutes. Let me ell you what happened – an un believable day!!

We left North Bay at 8:00 AM local time and headed over to Ottawa on Highway 17.

On the way two girls drove in a sports card holding a banner that said ‘kowst2kowst – good luck’ – we then noticed other cars and trucks with similar banners – they all shouted you can do it – we’ll clear way for you – 4 days coast to coast.

Highway 17 became 417 became 40 East became 540 East became 20 East and we were building a convoy.

As traffic through Montreal approached light speed anybody that tried to change lanes in front of us were simply nudged off the road by friendly transports. We were the only ones on the Champlain bridge as our trucker friends blocked as access to our lane we moved across – the convoy built up the St. Lawrence through Quebec and Riviere du Loup and then as we moved down on 185 into New Brunswick.

At the Quebec/New Brunswick border there was a huge contingent of bikers that picked us up and cleared the way down through Grand Falls. At Perth-Andover there was an Irving contingent of 18 wheelers loaded with wood that had been recently clear cut, that picked us up and clear cut a path for us down through Fredericton – then we were escorted on either side by 18 wheelers through the most dangerous moose country this side of the Agawa Canon – the run from Fredericton to Saint John. The moose are so dense in this area that local drivers know them on a first name basis.

The convoy was kilometres long by the time we reached Saint John – huge banners flying from the stacks of Moosehead Brewery and a flashing LCD – 4 days – 4 days. We took the Catherwood exit and drove into Gregory lane to be greeted by the Police Chief himself – who promptly incarcerated us for several moving and stationary violations between Victoria and here.

Ricky and Julian say not to worry, the dope in the Saint John jail system is high class and the meals are excellent!! I sure hope Bubbles bails us out soon … I don’t like the way our cell mate keeps telling me to pick up the soap and making references to ‘squealing like a pig’.

Watch for a final summary blog within two days folks.

The Adventure has ended …… OR HAS IT ……..

Running with The Bulls in Agawa - Updated

Howdy Folks,

We were at Portage and Main , in Winnepeg, at 5:45 AM and we did not see any signs of music being created. Left town and headed directly into the eastern sunrise. The original plan was to drive to the Sault but I turned to Brett and said’ ‘should we do a long one’ – he said yeah and immediately downed a can of Rockstar. No – I didn’t mean that – Rockstar is a strange concoction of long chain molecules, ginseng and caffeine made by Coca-Cola that is labelled ‘a natural health product’. Brett looks at me with eyes as big as my dog’s saucer and says, ‘ wanna try some ….’

We were in Thunder Bay in no time folks.

A little observation here – the Trans-Canada from Vancouver through the mountains to Calgary on through Winnipeg to the Ontario border is basically two lane, 110 km/hr and for all intents and purposes benevolently supervised by law enforcement. Also you can grab a beverage of choice long the way anywhere. Cross the border into Ontario and all of a sudden our puritan/conservative forces are unleashed. The highway becomes one lane – can you drive in ore than one lane – who needs two; the speed limit drops to 90 km/hr – we are just protecting you from yourself – speed kills; the limit is strictly enforced – we establish rules and you must obey; and you can only by a beverage of choice in a state controlled store called the LCBO – if you can’t come to one of our stores during our hours you must be an alcoholic.

A word on road kill – in most regions of the country roadkill might be a racoon, skunk or a rabbit – in some cases maybe a deer. As we crossed into Ontario, we quickly realized that our definition of road kill was to change drastically. Along the side of the road about every 2 kilometres were the remains of moose – remains that looked like some leftover wreckage from the Jurassic period.

I said to Brett – ‘do you have any more of that Rockstar – no, but I have Red Bull – what’s that – a natural health product that vitalizes body and mind – after 4 of those the Ontario paranoia started to subside.

Brett took over the wheel at Thunder Bay and drove to Wawa across the North of Superior – spectaular drive!!

I took the wheel back at Wawa and noticed the sun was low in the sky – that would mean a run to the Sault through moose country at night unless we could out run the sun. I went for it – with Brett playing Lazlo to my Hunter S. - moose warning signs everywhere warning to watch out at dusk, I made a Red Bull run for it down through Agawa canyon.

Then – there they were – moose on the side of the road waiting – I said to Lazlo – mix me a 2 to 1 Rockstar to Red Bull cocktail – I downed that. Speed increasing, we were close to making it – thank God we were in Ontario where even moose have to obey the rules about dusk and being on the road.

Then the lights of the Sault and I let out a Rockstar/Red Bull fuelled primal scream that we had made it only to see to copulating moose directly in front of us – no time to deke, I went right under them - there was a thud and the equivalent of a moose scream - I looked to Brett and nearly lost it – he had a moose testicle dangling from his left ear – looking some preppy version of Jack Sparrow – I liked the look!! Lazlo asked if it would go good with barbecue sauce - I told him not to go there!

We roared into the gas station for more fuel – yes 24 more Red Bull and left in a cloud of squealing tires, flying gravel for Sudbury. The Red Bull was going down smoothly heart rate was probably 220 – I could see all the veins in my hands and arms pulsating – Brett was vibrating in sync to the driving rhythm of Bachman Turner Overweight as we roared through Sudbury and on over to North Bay.

And then – there they were – Ontario’s finest at midnight – both lanes blocked stopping everyone – a RIDE check – have we had anything to drink – just several Rockstar and Red Bull officer – step out of the vehicle please – I GO FOR IT – I slam the accelerator and we are gone – moose jumping everywhere, deer doing a strange dance on the side of the road – blocking their path - as we sift through Sturgeon Falls and make the final run into North Bay.

We arrived in North Bay at 1:00 AM – pizza time – choked that down - to bed at 2:00 AM – can’t sleep though – can we make run from North Bay to Saint John tomorrow ….

The Adventure continues …..

Guess Who Is From Winnipeg.... Neil Young - Sort Of ..

Howdy Folks,

Yes, the Guess Who is from Winnipeg and, maybe more importantly to me, this is where Neil Young found his muse before meeting Stephen Stills in Thunder Bay and then going to LA.

The Guess Who was Canada’s first big rock phenomenon – the song that broke them south – American Woman – go figure.

Well the prairie crossing from Calgary to Winnipeg was flat, straight and extremely boring – just like my first girlfriend – it’s exhilarating, and life threatening, out here on the edge folks.

The first three hours from Calgary to Medicine Hat were wet snow and slush – the worst weather of the trip so far – within an hour after Medicine Hat, it had cleared sufficiently for high-speed motoring.

Just outside of Medicine Hat we almost hit a meteorite, or a piece of kryptonite, that had impacted in the highway. Luckily Brett and I avoided that – did NASA lose anything earlier today?

Around Chaplin, we drove by a Western Hemisphere Shorebird Reserve – I took a picture of a large crane of some variety – I don’t know what it was but I would pay big money to be there when it takes off!!

Also took a picture of another rare bird along the way – very tall and apparently grazing or testing the air temperature. It is amazing that when you leave Calgary and travel to Winnipeg there is so much ‘nothing’ – the landscape along Highway 1 varies little and the road even less. I had been told about this but was still amused to see it for myself. This road must follow the old voyageurs/trapping route because there were a number of names that I recognized from history lessons long ago and Radisson and Degroseilliers kept coming to mind.

Winnipeg seems a world away from Calgary, Vancouver, and the coast – the difference is dramatic and, not so much depressing, as something that feels it might deserve better, if it dared to dream.

Brett and I had dinner at Grapes tonight – check out their menu here - http://www.grapes.ca/aboutus.html

The food was good – nothing to report on the beer front – I think we have run out of any new experiences in that regard – I may be wrong though – I often am.

Onward tomorrow.

The adventure continues ….

Frankly, I'm In-Kleined to Have Another One

Howdy Folks,

There was a time in this fair land when the railroad did not run ….

Driving through Rogers Pass today made me think that there was a time when Gordon Lightfoot had not written The Railroad Trilogy – and we are glad he did it before he became a raging alcoholic – which reminds me of the Irish who worked as navies on that railroad – whose willingness to do anything for something that could be traded for a drink like money – which reminds me of the Chinese who worked on that railroad as well; who saved all their earnings and built wealth that would rival the interests that built the railroad in the first place. Folks, there is a lot to think about out here on the Carefree Highway.

That railroad became the glue that cemented what Canada was and indeed what might be – when times had changed that mantle was inherited by the CBC – and now that the CBC has been marginalized and regionalized and circumcised – inside joke folks - just think about - it will come to you – that mantle has been passed on to our visionary thinkers. Yes I know – we can count them on zero hands – but there you have it!!

Brett and I finally caught a definitive picture and therefore proof that the Sasquatch exists and yes he needs a shave, a perm and a manicure/pedicure – plus some toilet training as our picture clearly shows - no the Sasquatch is not holding the case of beer!!

Arrived in Calgary and immediately took up residence at the Westin in the downtown core – folks Bill Howe and priceline have outdone themselves – tonight is the Calgary Highlanders Ball and there are a bunch of men running around with skirts on and squeezing their plaid bags – reminds me of Victoria!!

Brett and I went to Brewsters – check it out here – http://www.brewstersbrewingco.com/ - we had the India Pale Ale – he had the Brewsters Burger and I had the Tuna burger – excellent – then all hell broke loose. Our waitress dropped a serious amount of mayo on the floor beside our table – and then buggers off – I mention to Brett, ‘there is a law suit waiting to happen’ – another waitress comes by with some sort of large pasta dish and does a 3 ½ gainer in front of me – next thing I am wearing the salad that was on the plate plus I have the better part of this young lady in my hands – I light up a cigarette immediately and then start telling the staff how to deal with this – can you say Fire Marshall Bill?

Back at the hotel now, being counselled by a food and beverage psychologist – luckily I am travelling with one.

Off tomorrow - we head out across the vast barren wasteland – no not Ontario Power Generation – Alberta, Saskatchewan and Manitoba.

After all the sin we had, I was hoping that we’d turn bad ….

The adventure continues ……

I Put The Van in Vancouver

Howdy folks,

Arrived in Vancouver after travelling with BC Ferries and Submarine Service - I got a little nervous after seeing most of the crew sitting in the lifeboats for the crossing - got really nervous when I found out that the captain's previous commission was the Exxon Valdez!! I don't think he rammed the dock too hard - I mean it's 20 feet shorter but hey that reduces the drive into town!!

On Thursday Brett and I spent the day packing and went to The Canoe Brewpub and ended up at the Swan Hotel and Brewpub (again!). There was a band in there that had more members than the audience contained and they were doing a 'Committments' style R&B thing. Brett was dragged onto the floor by three ladies who just didn't understand the meaning of 'no'. Then they got into a huge fight about who he belonged too - it's too bad they didn't understand the concept of sharing.

Brett is out with friends tonight so I took the chance to catch up with some more family - I had a great dinner with Allison, Lincoln & Andrew. Then we hussled over to The Diner where Allison's brother, Cameron, was just finishing his shift - said a quick hello and then back to the hotel.

I'm a hurting cowboy tonight so it is early to bed and then up early in the AM to put the hammer down for Calgary - Alberta bound, Alberta bound .....

The adventure continues ....

High Tee In Victoria

Howdy Folks,

Well earlier today nephew Brett and the viagra cowboy hit the road and rolled screaming into the parking lot of the Cordova Bay Golf Course - check it out here - http://www.cordovabaygolf.com/

Well - it was a grand old time - I MUST SAY!! - yes we did run into Ed Grimly - a little overweight and a little calmer thanks to some long needed medication. He still has the alfalfa spike and the goofy dance though.

Listen - nobody told me that the golf course was protected by the International Audobon Society - http://www.audubonintl.org/

On the second hole I hit one of the best drives of my life - only to have it hit the ball marker of the women's tee and come back at me at the speed of light - luckily I had bent over to pick up my pants when it went whistling over my head and resulted in a net -45 yards. I think that's called a dick-out - Hmmm - I knew then it was going to be a special day.

Three holes later I hit a crushing drive - only to have it land in the crotch of a tree - not only that, it was in an area designated as protected and sensitive. Check out the picture above - ten shots later, check out the next picture. Luckily Brett had enough money to persuade the environment police that maybe that portion of the course needed a clear cut anyway!!

On the back nine things really got out of control - I hit the ball into an Inukshuk that someone had placed on the course - believe me folks - no one had gone this way before!! Speaking of FORE!! ....

Luckily the round ended - we left the course being chased by a cadre of irate groundskeepers, offended leftists and a group of young ladies asking Brett for his autograph (and more).

Oh yeah - that's not all - tonight Brett and I cooked the meal at the borading house for all the boarding house residents - we had to go shopping - buy all the groceries - prepare all the food - cook it all up and then serve it - we just feel so overworked and underappreciated!!

Brett did a great job on the barbecue - the viagra cowboy had some difficulty in the kitchen - nothing a heart massage and mouth to mouth couldn't fix though!!

Tomorrow we need to do a ton of laundry - we're already reading the instruction manuals for the washer and dryer - whatever they are!!

Got to run - we'll be at the Canoe in Victoria tomorrow night - http://www.nwbrewpage.com/bcbpubs/Harbour.html

A ferry sank today on the Vancouver to Victoria crossing - that doesn't bother Brett and I - we're taking the causeway - wait a minute that's PEI .... oh shit ....

The adventure continues .....

I Know Victoria's Secret

Howdy Folks,

Sory for the break in the action - just pondering the meaning of life and I think the answer can be found here http://www.victoriassecret.com/

I mean you can take Hustler, Playboy, Penthouse all those other mags with the great articles and toss them - just give me the SI Swim Suit Isue and the Victoria's Secret catalogue. And for the love of God, do not mention the word 'thong' and use that word in the same sentence with the word 'sheep' - hey wait a minute did someone say 'sheep'?

I visited with a friend yesterday - David Collinson - David lives in Langford just outside of Victoria - that is not Comox folks - there is a bit of humour there - ask me about it and I'll tell you. David is successully fighting cancer at the moment and will beat it- I look forward to seeing him and his lovely wife again very soon. I really enjoyed the visit.

Well Victoria may have it's secrets but I uncovered them all yesterday PM. I spent some time at the Sticky Wicket yesterday - had their famous Nacho plate and washed that down with a Phillips Brewery IPA - noticed some strange markings on the bottle and lo and behold it appeared to be a map of some kind leading to - wait a minute - what is that Albino priest doing in here .... and why is my beer glass metallic and goblet shaped - hmmmmm ..... hey was that Tom Hanks ....

Back to the boarding house where I am staying with Brett where many philosophical questions are being discussed and resolved - Linda Malloy is a special lady and runs a tight ship - when she is not at the helm she is at the easel and creates some mighty fine art indeed.

OK - today it is golf in what is becoming an endless boring succession of warm days and sun out here - I can't understand why anybody would live in this area where the climate is moderate and it hardly ever snows and you can barbecue year round and they have great micro-brewery beer and .... HEY, WAIT A MINUTE ...

More later folks - the adventure continues ...