Running with The Bulls in Agawa - Updated

Howdy Folks,

We were at Portage and Main , in Winnepeg, at 5:45 AM and we did not see any signs of music being created. Left town and headed directly into the eastern sunrise. The original plan was to drive to the Sault but I turned to Brett and said’ ‘should we do a long one’ – he said yeah and immediately downed a can of Rockstar. No – I didn’t mean that – Rockstar is a strange concoction of long chain molecules, ginseng and caffeine made by Coca-Cola that is labelled ‘a natural health product’. Brett looks at me with eyes as big as my dog’s saucer and says, ‘ wanna try some ….’

We were in Thunder Bay in no time folks.

A little observation here – the Trans-Canada from Vancouver through the mountains to Calgary on through Winnipeg to the Ontario border is basically two lane, 110 km/hr and for all intents and purposes benevolently supervised by law enforcement. Also you can grab a beverage of choice long the way anywhere. Cross the border into Ontario and all of a sudden our puritan/conservative forces are unleashed. The highway becomes one lane – can you drive in ore than one lane – who needs two; the speed limit drops to 90 km/hr – we are just protecting you from yourself – speed kills; the limit is strictly enforced – we establish rules and you must obey; and you can only by a beverage of choice in a state controlled store called the LCBO – if you can’t come to one of our stores during our hours you must be an alcoholic.

A word on road kill – in most regions of the country roadkill might be a racoon, skunk or a rabbit – in some cases maybe a deer. As we crossed into Ontario, we quickly realized that our definition of road kill was to change drastically. Along the side of the road about every 2 kilometres were the remains of moose – remains that looked like some leftover wreckage from the Jurassic period.

I said to Brett – ‘do you have any more of that Rockstar – no, but I have Red Bull – what’s that – a natural health product that vitalizes body and mind – after 4 of those the Ontario paranoia started to subside.

Brett took over the wheel at Thunder Bay and drove to Wawa across the North of Superior – spectaular drive!!

I took the wheel back at Wawa and noticed the sun was low in the sky – that would mean a run to the Sault through moose country at night unless we could out run the sun. I went for it – with Brett playing Lazlo to my Hunter S. - moose warning signs everywhere warning to watch out at dusk, I made a Red Bull run for it down through Agawa canyon.

Then – there they were – moose on the side of the road waiting – I said to Lazlo – mix me a 2 to 1 Rockstar to Red Bull cocktail – I downed that. Speed increasing, we were close to making it – thank God we were in Ontario where even moose have to obey the rules about dusk and being on the road.

Then the lights of the Sault and I let out a Rockstar/Red Bull fuelled primal scream that we had made it only to see to copulating moose directly in front of us – no time to deke, I went right under them - there was a thud and the equivalent of a moose scream - I looked to Brett and nearly lost it – he had a moose testicle dangling from his left ear – looking some preppy version of Jack Sparrow – I liked the look!! Lazlo asked if it would go good with barbecue sauce - I told him not to go there!

We roared into the gas station for more fuel – yes 24 more Red Bull and left in a cloud of squealing tires, flying gravel for Sudbury. The Red Bull was going down smoothly heart rate was probably 220 – I could see all the veins in my hands and arms pulsating – Brett was vibrating in sync to the driving rhythm of Bachman Turner Overweight as we roared through Sudbury and on over to North Bay.

And then – there they were – Ontario’s finest at midnight – both lanes blocked stopping everyone – a RIDE check – have we had anything to drink – just several Rockstar and Red Bull officer – step out of the vehicle please – I GO FOR IT – I slam the accelerator and we are gone – moose jumping everywhere, deer doing a strange dance on the side of the road – blocking their path - as we sift through Sturgeon Falls and make the final run into North Bay.

We arrived in North Bay at 1:00 AM – pizza time – choked that down - to bed at 2:00 AM – can’t sleep though – can we make run from North Bay to Saint John tomorrow ….

The Adventure continues …..